Bethany becomes a TEEN!!!!!

What can I say about this sweet girl who God blessed me with 13 years ago? A LOT!!!!
I remember as if it were yesterday. She was quite a surprise for Todd and I but God always knows what He is doing. Amen?

It started over 13 years ago, of course! My first recollection of anything was a weird monthly cycle. Not so unusual since I went off the pill a few months earlier and my cycles were abnormal anyway. We weren't trying to get pregnant but used other methods of birth control b/c the pill just made me looney (ok loonier if that's even a word). So it wasn't like we weren't aware it could happen. I guess we weren't overly-concerned about it but again, we were not actively trying to conceive a child. Todd had lots of nieces and nephews and I never had dreams of having kids. Not really even dreams of my wedding day for that matter. Maybe a cynical outlook from my past perhaps.

My big sister Kerrie on the other hand, was pregnant and very much looking forward to her firstborn child. When I told her about my strange cycle (sisters who are close do share that info. now and then) and she told me "You're probably pregnant because that happened with me too". I wrote it off and said something like "No, I doubt that", and never pondered that thought at all.

Then the unthinkable happened. My sister, whom I was just starting to really connect with on a deeper, more grown up level, passed away suddenly, in her 8th month of pregnancy, from a brain aneurysm. We came home from a long weekend out of town for one of my cousin's weddings up north. She couldn't go b/c she was 8 months pg. and couldn't travel. She called me the night before later than she normally does and we talked and her parting words were "I love you" which I said back. After I hung up I thought it was weird cause we just don't say that to each other ever. Not that we didn't feel it but we never really said it. It was more unspoken with us. We 3 sisters were the only constant thing in our lives. No matter where we moved or how many times and with what parent, we had each other. So our love for each other just didn't need verbal expression. But I'm glad we had it in retrospect.

So we flew up north to my cousin's wedding and I just was not overjoyed. I had finals and lots of homework as I was enrolled in Moorpark and my cousin's wedding was held in a dungeon underground on a rainy day performed by a female Justice of the Peace with zero God mentioned at all :( so I wasn't full of joy for them and they eventually split after a year...no huge surprise. So I was anxious to get home and take my tests and get back to normal for us. "Normal" took on a new meaning. We returned to my mom's house to drop her off (we all drove together to the airport). My stepdad, recovering from heart surgery, had to stay behond so he was home. I unloaded my mom's bags and he told me to please come inside. It was late and I was tired and still had to study for my math test. But he insisted. I could tell something was wrong. I will never forget his words once we entered the house and gathered into the kitchen. My eyes are welling up as I write this...."The reason I called you in here is because there was been a tragedy." My heart dropped and I thought of my little sister Tracey b/c she was (still is) in a bad way in her lifestyle. But then he continued, "It's Kerrie"... I thought to myself "oh no!!! She lost the baby???" and his words cut to my heart like a knife..."she and the baby are gone". All I remmeber is falling to the floor and screaming. I didn't even ask why because at that moment, I was in absolute shock and utter despair. My best friend, my sister I had known and had prtected me and loved me for 33 years was gone, just like that! And so was her baby girl she had named after my mom "Suzie" whom I never got to meet. Worst day of my life to this day :( Just no words can describe how I felt at that time and anyone reading this who has lost someone they were that close to knows that pain. God was gracious enough to allow our last words to each other to be "I love you". Yet one of the many things I am grateful to Him for.

After getting over that shock and grief, I experienced a few weeks of sickness. Nausea, headaches, extreme fatigue, etc. All of these I attributed to the stress of losing my sister. After all, losing someone I loved that much, without any warning, had never happened to me. So after about a week straight of feeling sick in the morning, Todd told me "You're looking a bit bigger in the top region. Maybe you;re pregnant". (Yes, he has a way with words ;) I recalled my sister's words "You're probably pregnant" and I felt a panic rush over me. I did NOT want to be pregnant! No way! And my sister just died while she was pregnant and although it wwas an undetected embolism, they felt the pregnancy fueled it to come faster. I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test. I took it and the lines came out positive. Todd was a bit excited but I was clearly not. It was not a happy moment for me but one of concern. Todd was great and tried to motivate me and convince me that this was a good thing but I had so many doubts and I was still so sad. And what would my mom think? I went to my Ob-Gyn who confirmed my pregnancy and ran all kinds of tests because of my sister. We decided to wait to tell anyone for a bit. Turned out I was already 8 weeks pregnant and Christmas was around the corner. So we waited to tell everyone. Todd felt it was important to tell my mom first, under the circumstances. Her first grandchild from my sister would have been born in January. We gave her a Christmas card along with a bottle of the wine Todd tried to make (turned out to be vinegar instead...longer story ;) She was not thrilled but cautious and a bit worried, but I could tell she wanted to be happy. That was hard but I understood. I needed assurance and knew it wasn't coming from my mom. We did the same thing with Todd's parents who anxiously wanted us to have kids. The reaction was very different! :) But I actually started to get excited!
So near the end of my pregnancy, my doctor told me during an ultrasound that Bethany was breech. He said her femur bone was so long so he knew her legs would never survive the attempt to turn her so I found out I had to have a C-Section. I was so disappointed. But I got over it quickly. July 15th, 2:50 pm, this perfect angel came into our lives. She wasn't crying and they whisked her off to ICU and wheeled me off to recover in a dark room. I was groggy and tired from the drugs and overwhelming heatwave we were going through as well as not sleeping those final weeks. I sat in a room alone with a nurse for an hour before anyone came in. Finally Todd and everyone came in to tell me she was fine and doing great! I was excited but I wanted to hold her.

When I held her for the first time, it was just instant love. Instant relief. Instant excitement! Praise God!!!! She was so sweet and so precious to us and every now and then, I think of her birth and all that came before and just thank God...because He is the giver and taker of life. He knew my sister's time but also knew Bethany's time. He is amazing and I am grateful for my sweet angel who is now a young lady! I love my Bethany Joy Lyche! Thank you Lord, for giving me what I never knew I wanted!